Why are you even meeting a GF’s parents after 2 months?! You are setting yourself up for some shit this early in the game! Dumb move number one.
This dude shared his complete fuck up today on Reddit: Surprisingly this happened today, yay:)
So a little background, I’ve been with my girlfriend for about 2 months, never met her parents and today was the big day. As I was going to her house and told her parents would leave when we got there, I brought condoms. Fuck up number one.
Okay so I walk through the door, nervous as hell. The dad comes bounding over with a smile and a hello, now I had my wallet in my hand, with the condom in. Now I don’t know if you’ve seen family guy, but in one episode Brian meets some girls mom and a condom falls out his wallet..this…this is what happened.
In order to shake his hand I sort of chucked the wallet into my other hand trying to be slick and look like a cool guy, however I missed it completely and it fell to the floor. Already looking like an idiot I go to pick up my wallet, when out of nowhere the condom slides out and just sits on the floor. The dad just looks down, and as slowly as I’ve ever seen moved his head towards my direction. I look down and notice the durex wrapper on the floor, every muscle in my body seizes, I have no idea what to say, I completely froze in embarrassment and shame. The dad starts yelling at me and orders me to leave, I’m now sat a few minutes away from her house typing this to try and come to terms with what just happened
TL/DR: I went to get my girlfriends dad seal of approval, end up basically showing him I’ve been fucking his daughter and was planning to in their home
Edit : for those who think I’m unintelligent, you would be correct in this instance, just a run of poor sleep and nerves got the best of me today
Edit :why are people so hung up on me carrying my wallet,it didn’t fit properly in my jeans so was easy at the time
Update: so about 30 minutes went by before my gf returned, turns out the dad thought it’d be funny to shout at me and seem tough, he aint annoyed, just annoyed that my gf didn’t do work or something I don’t even know. I walked back in and nervously laughed for about 5 minutes trying to convince him it was for a friend, all whilst trying to hold back tears of embarrassment, fml.
Update 2: so turns out he’s actually a pretty cool guy, he apologised for joking around and said it’s all cool, we talked about general stuff for about 15 minutes what I wanna do in life etc, then said we can order a pizza when they’re gone he’s paying. This has been the biggest roller coaster of emotions since Marley and me, he’s left and we’ll I’ll be gone for all of 30 seconds;)
Update 3: So it’s the next day,the mom was pissed with the dad for making me feel like a little bitch, was slightly annoyed about the condom simply due to the fact it was their home etc be respectful but all in all everyone’s pretty alright now, never putting a condom in my wallet,kids seem a better option